For those of you who haven’t heard / seen already, I will be boarding a plane at the end of this month and leaving Thailand… probably for good.
I’m not leaving angry, but I am leaving frustrated. I worked my nuts off out here to barely make a livable wage, and at every turn I was harassed by stranded expats and browbeaten by administrators. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t still be at one of these schools. I have the drive and the work ethic. Sadly, they just don’t want people like me. My motivation is construed as a threat to all who like things just as they are.
And that alone isn’t the problem. The problem comes when they start gossiping about you. When they start suggesting that you’re fucking the students or when they start telling the parents that their child is not safe with you… one cannot help but take those things not just personally, but damn near as an act of violence towards you. Certain people need to be glad I left when I did.
That’s why I changed my Facebook page, by the way. I’m sick of the kids sending me messages complaining about the state of their school. They had a chance to speak up for me, and they didn’t do it. Now I don’t care. I’m severing ties and leaving before I get any colder and meaner than I currently am. I hit a guy two weeks ago, now I go out looking for any excuse to do it again. I was never this way. That was the final indicator that it was time to get up and go.
I’m leaving knowing that I did my best, however. Thailand certainly served its purpose in that it certainly showed me what it’s like to be on the other side. What do I mean by that? Oh, I’ll tell you, but only when I’m a safe enough distance from this place. I won’t feel like I’m in the clear until my feet hit the Georgia ground.
I think I’m better socially equipped now, too, and I think my outlook is significantly different as well. For all the negative that has transpired, this experience certainly has smoothed down my rough edges and made me a more compassionate person who observes and communicates a little better than he once did. That’s not to say I’m a hundred percent confident in presenting myself, but I am ready for something new. I think that alone should get me where I need to be.
And for all the shit that went down over the years with my family, my mother certainly managed to set her firstborn up for a better life. I’m leaving with a decent amount of inheritance left over, so if I need to pick up a used car and drop a deposit on an apartment, I can do it without worrying.
Also, I can’t wait to try CBD. And some of that legal pot Matt Ross is getting in Amherst. Holy shit, I’m so stoked.
Sasi and I are going to be fine. She’s sticking close to home and pushing through for another semester or two. She’s also going to take some extra work and try to sell the house. That alone would ease the transition immensely. She actually has friends out here who can probably help with her immigration process, but because her work visa is actually still valid for another year, I’m thinking it won’t be anywhere near as annoying as the shit I had to do every 90 days… not to mention all the other extra shit I was required to do for immigration.
So that’s it right now. All my ATL people, prepare yourself. All my Savannah people, you can forget about it. You’re just gonna have to come see me. Everyone else, I’ll probably be making my way up the east coast once I get some shit figured out. Nothing is really off limits or out of the question. Well, nothing except for any place south of Atlanta.
So, with a week to go, I’m going to finish proofing this dissertation for the school, and finish all of my last minute preparations. I keep thinking of other things that need to be taken care of, so I’m trying to get as much done up front as possible.
Netta, Erin… hope you gals are doing well. Add me on my new FB. Erin, I’ve got a response to one of your posts coming, but I’m a little busy at the moment. However, I’d love to have lunch with you guys and stroll down memory lane at the Arundel Mills Mall. Netta, you gotta tell me where to eat. I’m mostly vegetarian, so you gotta tell me where the hippie spots are.
Aree, with a bit of luck, I can come out and see your release party if you’re having one. Any other shows in the area, let me know.
Alright, darlings. I need to get some cardio and start my day. Talk soon.
Chad – if you can figure out a way to nullify my angst against RH, then I will most certainly come and smoke a cigar with you and your dad.