I have no idea what the balls people are saying on the internet.  There is an entire parlance, vocabulary, and set of jokes that I am just not privy to.  I’ll watch a video sometimes and get curious about the comments, but when I read some of them not only can I not always understand what is being said, but I cannot for the life of me even fathom where this weird crap comes from.

I had a buddy who bought into ‘internet culture’ when it was new, and I see what it has done to him.  Now he completely exists online, communicating almost exclusively in weird shorthand and using these strange inside jokes as if I too am in on it.  The internet has sanded down his brain and blanded up his personality.

Maybe that’s why you can’t talk to people.  They’ve spent so long now communicating exclusively online and with these weird, ever-shifting vocabularies, and now they have no idea what the building blocks of conversation are.

What a great time to be antisocial.




The fish are holding steady now.  After losing something like 80% of the population, the bowls are clean and free of disease, and the fish are happily eating and banging.

Yes, as it turns out, guppies and mollies take their Old Testament charge of going forth and being fruitful very seriously.  I’m scooping out fry nearly every day in order to repopulate a bowl that was devastated by sickness.  I’m not exactly sure how to slow them down, however.  I might have to open my own store.

In other news, you are a bald idiot.  I want to dropkick your genitals and push you down some stairs.

I guess that’s all.  My cat is rifling through the garbage can for chicken bones.  I’m going to have to power bomb his furry ass for stepping out of line.

You are in my heart, Matthew.


July 11, 2019


I get chills every time I hear a young Bjork sing “Birthday.”  If that chorus doesn’t get you right in the gut, you are a soulless human being.

Music truly does soothe the savage beast.