June 13, 2019


Creative writing isn’t just something you walking in and fucking do.  It could be months before you are able to work on a project again.  The ideas could go away altogether if you get interrupted.

That’s what happened to me.  Motherfuckers kept interrupting me, and me beating my head against the wall every day knocked all of the thoughts and ideas out of it.

My brain hasn’t refilled yet, so maybe I should go play video games for a few hours.  I wonder how many more days I can do that and still convince myself that I deserve it.

We’ll see!

Iron Paul

June 4, 2019


My lotus flowers and fish are coming along nicely.  This is probably the most rudimentary of gardening tasks, but we have a lot of crap in the yard that somebody else started and is now out of control.  I have long wanted to do something with the yard, but there was so much construction waste and overgrown plants that I have incrementally had to hire people to help me clear everything away and haul it off.  Now that I have caught the yard work bug, as it were, I want to see what I can accomplish.  After all, I’m nearing 40.  I think it’s what you do.  I need to impregnate my wife and work the earth.  I’m turning that corner, and I need to start making my legacy.

In the meantime, I’m also trying to master the art of making edibles.  I’ve had a bit of success so far, but its hard to control the potency.

There’s more going on than before.  There is a university that sends me papers for proofing, and this is the third in six weeks.  I’ve needed to make some money and have something extra to do.  This all adds up to a more functional situation, hopefully.  I don’t need to lose my shit a second time.  That cost way too much money.

The final piece of the puzzle is my health.  I ate way too much fucking pizza in America, and I am hurting for it.  So, I will once again re-find myself or whatever, and hopefully kickstart a year that is half over but I have somehow not yet started.

How’s that for some fucking truth?

Love, etep