july 5, 2012
as I was walking home from the gym this evening, I noticed that two campus police cars had vehicles pulled over almost back-to-back. overseeing the ordeal was a third vehicle, one with government plates (though obviously an undercover vehicle). it seemed a strange sight, but I paid them all no mind and briskly walked past the scene, thinking nothing of it. as I continued walking, I happened upon two strange-looking balls of trash on the side of the road. however, I kept walking.
about thirty seconds later, a bell went off in my head. I casually strolled back to the area, turned back in my original direction, crouched to “tie my shoe,” and stuffed one of the conspicuous balls of trash in my sock (I was wearing sweatpants because I had just come from the gym).
I continued back in my original direction.
“bullshit,” I said to myself. “there’s just no way.”
I rounded the corner to see all three police vehicles parked near an athletic field. I immediately began to sweat.
“damn it all. just my luck it IS fucking weed. they know what I have done, and now I am screwed. fucking sabotage” I thought.
I know… a bit paranoid… but there was a lot at stake if I was correct.
but I passed the vehicles without incident.
when I got home, I broke open the bag. i’ll be a monkey’s grandmother if I didn’t behold at least half an ounce of lime-colored, pine-smelling buds… over two hundred dollars worth of good cannabis.
I calmly put my find in a tupperware and took a shower.
I used to buy bags of grass this big, but I am looking at what is easily a month’s worth of high-grade weed given my pathetic tolerance these days. I don’t know why this happened to me, and furthermore I don’t believe that whoever threw the stuff out has any idea how happy they have made me, but I would like to thank the campus police for finally doing something right.
but there is something that will bug me for a long time: was the scene with the cops and the discarded bags of weed connected (because I am assuming the bag that I left had about the same amount), or was this an even crazier coincidence?
p.s. you should probably come over soon.