#66

 

January 28, 2007

Matthew,

If I could have one super power of my choice, I would pick the ability to make anyone crap their pants. I can’t think of a single situation where it wouldn’t be useful: at work, out on the town, school, church, the emergency room. I could be like a hit man, taking money in exchange for “contract crappings:” bullies, business rivals, ex-lovers, lovers, clergymen, evil dictators. Of course, I would have to set aside time for pranks as well: marriage proposals, American Idol auditions, people who just got finished taking a dump. Naturally, this kind of ability wouldn’t exactly make me a “superhero” per se, but to hundreds of thousands of people, I would be “the guy who made [insert name] crap their pants.”

Love,

Pete

 

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